Chomp!

Chomp

Little Man is a Biter. I used to think it was because he’s teething. He’s cut 8 teeth in his less than 10 months of his adorable existence, and all in the last 5 months.  I can only imagine how much it hurts. I mean, when I get a toothache, I’m a complete grump. I’m assuming it’s also be the source of his casual irritability.  However I also wonder if its a bit of a baby attitude coming through. He’s going through a “nay nay nay naaaay” phase, translated to “No, No, No, I do it!” He will not let me feed him from a spoon for more than three bites and I only get those in if I’m distracting him with Baby Einstein on the television (tisk, tisk, I know). When I can get the spoon into his mouth, he’s started biting down on it with a grimace and grunt and shaking fists. Its pretty funny to watch. I laugh at these little outbursts because they are hilarious, but apparently I’ve done everything you’re not supposed to do to redirect this kind of behavior.

Uh oh. (Seriously though, its still funny)

According to this article I read on Baby Center, here’s the quick list of causes for biting and what you’re supposed to do (or rather, what you’re not supposed to do).  If this was one of the tests for my MBA in Motherhood, I have totally failed.

Teething

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Proper Teething Toys

Suggestions: Cold teethers, hard plastic teethers, teething necklaces and bracelets, cold washcloths, partially frozen washcloths, pacifiers, cold carrots,  frozen bagels, teething biscuits, Sophie, Sophie knock offs that Little Man has, Amber necklaces (love this), Infant Tylenol (when needed), etc. If you asked my 85 year old Grandfather about teething, he’d tell you to add whiskey on the gums to this list. For clarification, I have not tried this method (I’m not sharing the Whiskey). If you ask my Pediatrician, she also advises against using teething tablets or gels (apparently they can be dangerous).

This part I think I’ve got down. I mean, look at the picture!

 

Anxiety

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Mike Wazowski!

Remedy: Comfort, calming shushing, patting, back rubbing, familiar Lovey or blanket, pacifier, bottle, boob, a round of peek a boo in the mirror, walk around the house, dance party to the Wiggles… Whatever it takes, right?  If you’ve seen Monsters Inc its akin to imitating the scenes when Mike Wazowski (this green guy) is trying to get Boo (little girl) to stop crying. I don’t really have to explain Monsters Inc to you, do I? If you haven’t seen it, watch it. Eventually your kid will want to see it anyway.

 

Attitude

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Yes, that is a dog bone.

What not to do:

  • “Laugh”. Whoops! Often times it is funny (until the teeth increase in number and sharpness). I also thought this was a better alternative to yelling or screaming in pain. Of course, that happens sometimes too, depending on the level of surprise, strength of the bite, and the location. Nipples are in the scream zone. And even when I do scream, he looks up and laughs. Apparently my cries are hilarious.
  • “Treat it as a game”.  Double whoops. I have played the “bite me and I’ll bite you back” game to get him to chuckle. Apparently this is a fail.
  • “Give love bites.” Yea, I eat his face as much as he eats mine. And there are times he’s so cute I just want to eat him up (there’s an article somewhere that explain the science behind this phenomenon, but I can’t remember which HuffPost or Buzzfeed article I read it from). Perhaps he’s trying to reciprocate his immense love for me with these little shark bites?
  • “Give into their demands”. Sorry General, I do negotiate with my 9 month old terror when its past 10pm, I have my sanity to protect. And as they say “pick your battles.”

If this is the definitive list of what not to do, I am apparently doomed.  Here’s to hoping its all just a phase! (Insert shot of Whiskey here).

Have any sure fire tricks to stop the biting? Please share!

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