Halloween: May The Force Be With You

I knew very early on this year that Halloween would consist of a Star Wars Theme for my little family.  With the upcoming movies and the ever popular characters, I also knew that there would be a lot of people who thought the same. But that didn’t stop me. If fact, it inspired me to make all our costumes and props so we wouldn’t look like the store bought options and hopefully cost a lot less than $30/costume.

I’m pretty pleased with the results (if I’m allowed to toot my own horn). Here’s how I put it together.

#LittleManLuke Skywalker

Little Luke Skywalker

  • White top (Sewn using a pattern for a karate gi)
  • Light tan jeans (Kids Re-Sale store $6)
  • Light tan slip-on shoes (WalMart $4)
  • Brown Belt (GoodWill $3)
  • Light Saber ($1 pool noodle & $1 glow stick from Dollar Store, duct tape)

Hans Solo (aka Mom Solo)

Star Wards Family Costumes

  • White 3/4 sleeve shirt (already had one in my closet)
  • Dark Wash Jeans (already had in my closet)
  • Red cotton ribbon ($3 from JoAnns) lightly sewn down the side of the jeans
  • Black riding boots (already owned them)
  • Black vest (sewn from fabric remnant cut form JoAnns $3)
  • Brown felt for utility belt, Duct tape for Buckle, small piece of velcro to fasten (or you can sew it together)
  • Toy gun ($1 Dollar Store)

And the Millennium Falcon wagon, of course!

Millennium Falcon DIY

  • Sheet of white Cardboard from Costco (Free!)
  • Grey & Black paint (I didn’t have grey paint, so I mixed a few drops of black into white that I already had on hand)
  • Duct Tape ($1 Dollar Store, used also for lights saber and Han Solo Belt buckle))
  • Scissors
  • 2 dowel rods for support ($3 Walmart)
  • Measure to fit your wagon

Warning: it may attract cute members of the Dark Side.

Luke and Darth Vader Costumes for Toddlers

Grand Total for our Costumes & Props: $26

 

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A Few Good Men: Online Dating Here I Come!

a few good men

Somewhere in the last 10 years, it’s become increasingly difficult to date in Los Angeles. And by Los Angeles, I mean a variety of communities I’ve lived in in Southern California that encompasses the LA Region (which is pretty big).  When I moved to “The Bubble,” otherwise known as Hermosa Beach (yes, the best little beach city in California) dating and meeting people got a lot easier.  Why? Well, there are over 25 bars & restaurants in a 1.5 mile town. Going out 4-5 times a week, even for a quick dinner on the Pier for a great happy hour deal, provided lots of opportunities to meet people (men) everywhere. The town is filled with working professionals that all live a beach-ish kind of life. Its rad. Seriously, it’s amazing.  It was so rad and my luck was so good in meeting men, that I ended up with my amazing Little Man (ah, but that’s a story for another time).

So now that I’m a mom and chose to move 5 miles outside The Bubble to afford a little more space to accommodate my Hermosa Baby, it’s as if all prospects have disappeared. Completely.  I know, I’m not going to meet the perfect guy while at the Tot Lot on a Friday morning or while running to Costco on a Sunday afternoon. I’ve had one chance encounter at with a very good looking guy at Trader Joe’s, but by the time I figured out he was hitting on me, I was in my car, halfway home (in the immortal words of Homer Simpson “d’oh”!).  When I get back to The Bubble, it’s always with Little Man in tow (high five single mom life!) and it’s usually with my entourage of other hot mommies and their little ones (my Village is beautiful). Not to mention, I’m always out during the day. I get it, I’m neither in the right place or the right time to meet the possible match of my dreams.  

So what’s a busy mom to do? Activate and update dormant online dating profiles, that’s what!

So I’m in it. I’ve got a variation of the same profile (with the same picture, some including my Little Man) on three (yes THREE) free online dating sites.  The three big freebies: OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish and Tinder (because a friend convinced me it’s not just for hook ups, so we’ll see if she’s right).  It’s only been a month, and I’ve had a decent amount of messages from men that seem genuinely interested in meeting women (read: not just for a hook up). I’ve had 5 indecent proposals (I’ll take the cheap flattery) and ignored them. So far, I’ve given my number out to four men and have been one one date. I’m awkward as all hell on a date and was instantly reminded of everything I hate about my post baby body, but in the end I had a good time, with a good person, and had a good conversation. Will it go anywhere? I don’t think so. I’m sticking to some basic old fashioned ideals that gentlemen still exist (they ask for your number and text/call first, ask you out first, etc). After that, I think there are no rules except to be true to yourself, have a little bit of fun and don’t put too much pressure on anything. But I’ve got to tell you, there’s nothing like suggesting a second date, and receiving no direct answer, to give the most confident of women a little ego bruise. So yea, that happened.

I know that sticking to some old fashioned principles of wanting a man to make the first move and be confident in asking you out can only go so far. We live in a fast paced, digital world. And so to be proactive, I have made it a priority to visit my profile(s) every day. Read and respond to all appropriate messages. Look at at 5-10 matches and initiate a conversation with anyone who I find interesting or intriguing, hopefully daily. As my sister says “its a numbers game” (is it really?). I realize that even though it’s only online dating, it’s still hard to make the first move. Expecting to sit on the sidelines and wait for everyone to come to you is a little unrealistic. So I’m out there and doing this, and I have to admit, it already feels like a lot of work. Wish me luck!

Of Course there will be update blog posts about my experiences, so stay tuned readers!

Have any advice for this single mamma? Leave it in the comments below (Be nice)!

An Adventure in Bone Broth

An Adventure in Bone Broth

There’s a lot of buzz around bone broth and it’s health benefits. I’ve seen it pop up on my suggested pins on Pinterest, I’ve seen a fairly funny Buzzfeed short video on it, heard Dr. Oz talk about it on his show, read a few articles about it and most importantly, asked my friend who raises 100% Grass Fed cattle about it.  Bottom line: it’s good for you. And we should be eating it (well, drinking and cooking with it).

Why? Well bone broth is rich in nutrients, vitamins and minerals. It has restorative properties for hair, skin, and nails. It helps muscle rebuild. Helps heal a leaky gut (and other digestive issues). It’s good for building strong bones, and so much more!  This simple and age old food is a great source of:

  • Collagen (for skin)
  • Glycine (for sleep and memory)
  • Phosphorus, magnesium, calcium, potassium (building blocks for healthy bones)
  • Gelatin (protein)
  • Glycosaminoglycan or GAGs (key to preventing and treating osteoarthritis)

With all these health benefits, this tired mommy just knew she had to give it a try. Everyone says it’s easy to make, so I decided to make it! Here’s my experience as a first timer making bone broth.

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • CrockPot
  • Bones: knuckle is the traditional bone used.  I used Knuckle, Marrow and Neck Bone for variety.  I used locally sourced grass fed beef bones from True Pasture Beef
  • Water
  • Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Veggies (optional –  I didn’t use them, but will use them in the future)
  • Strainer
  • Jars for storage (I used glass)

The easy way to make Bone Broth:

  • Roasted the bones on a pan in the oven at 350 degrees for 10 minutes to bring out the flavor (don’t burn them!)
  • Roasting Grass Fed Beef Bones
  • Lay the bones at the bottom of the CrockPot in one layer (if you can’t fit them all at the bottom, put the remaining bones back in the freezer). See how I have too many in this picture? I took half of them out to use later.  End result was 2 knuckles, 3 marrow and 1/2 of the neck bone package you see here.
  • grass fed beef bones for broth
  • Fill the CrockPot ¾ way full with water (see how the bones make one layer on the bottom?)
  • bone broth tutorial
  • Add Tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar (helps to bring out the minerals in the bones)
  • bone broth tutorial with crock pot
  • Turn on Low and cook for 12-24 hours. It should get hot enough to create a bubble here and there, but not boil. The broth should be a lovely caramel color. If you’re adding veggies, add them in the last 4-6 hours or so.
  • Strain. Let cool an hour if you like. Bottle & Drink. Refrigerate or freeze the broth.

They say there’s no wrong way to make broth and for the most part that’s correct. There is however, some additional tips and tricks to making it better.  My first attempt was in the “good, but not great” category. To help you avoid making my same mistakes, here’s what I learned:

  • I didn’t cook the broth long enough to get the good caramel color or to get the coveted “gel”.  If you do it right, the broth will create a gelatin like consistency when you cool it (seriously, like beef jello). Its good for you.  I only cooked it 12 hours and got a light broth color with no gel.
  • I made a second batch reusing the same bones from the first batch.( Yes, you can do that, make those bones count!) I let it cook for over 24 hours and it looked a lot better. However, with the second batch of broth using the same bones, you don’t often get gel (so don’t be bummed out). I’ll get it right next time! Looking back, I think I’ll probably cook the fist batch closer to 24 hours and up to 48 with the second batch next time. 
  • Strain, strain, strain!  Strain more than once. Use a cheesecloth if you have one. I didn’t strain my first batch very well and got a lot of sediment.  If this happens to you, it’s ok. It just looks funny. I ended up straining it again after it cooled (because it didn’t gel) and removing the fat. Yes, there may be a small layer of fat that separates from the liquid and creates a fat layer on the top.
  • Next time I’ll add veggies for more flavor (onions, carrots, celery). I plan on drinking the broth to aide in a variety of health benefits(namely to help heal my digestive issues) and my first set of  batches were pretty plain. I am also using it to cook with, which is fantastic either way!
  • Freeze what you don’t plan on using in the next 3-5 days. Remember: its a meat product and you should treat it as such. Its fresh and will go bad if not stored properly.

I’m still in the process of drinking it everyday and will post a follow up blog post about my experience.  If you’re ready to give it a try, do it!  You can find bones at your local butcher shop or through local farmers (yes, they exist!). I got my bones from True Pasture Beef, a local grass fed, grass finished, pasture raised beef ranch in southern California.  Just like all food, the quality of what you eat and where its sourced is reflected in the health benefits you receive. We are what we eat. I absolutely love the True Pasture Beef’s selection of bones and beef and have been exclusively purchasing our red meat through them since having my Little Man. It also helps that I know the farmer personally. I know how the cattle are raised, what they are fed and how they are treated, plus they are are local! Local farmers can be hard to find, but they are out there! To find one near you, visit eatwild.org – they are a unbiased resource that validates the farmers and CSA’s they list. And when you find one, ask lots of questions to learn about their practices. Ok, ok I’ll get off that soapbox for now.

So go turn that CrockPot on, brew away  and sip to a healthier, stronger you!

bone broth in a cup

Fake it Till You Make it

fake it till you make it

So this parenting thing is quite a challenge. It becomes overwhelming and I wonder – just how good am I faking this? Because now I get it: we are all faking it till we make it.

I had a interesting conversation with my cousin’s husband this past weekend. They have two girls, under the age of 6, who are each hilarious, independent, sassy, headstrong, curious, and imaginative.  They live in an affluent area, speak English and French, go to a private school, eat zero sugar, and had very little if any screen time for the first couple of years (didn’t have a clue who the Disney characters were when we went to Disneyland),  have an artistic father and a business savvy mother.  From my point of view, they had this parenting thing down! They were raising culturally superior, successfully, artistic, smart and healthy little girls.

Back to our conversation: He asked me if I felt like a mom yet.

For a second I thought, what an odd question. I mean, my son is almost a year and a half, so of course I feel like a mom! But after another split second, I answered honestly: Sometimes.

I mean, I AM a mom, and I love being a mom, but I don’t always act/think/react/teach like a mom is “supposed to” (whatever the hell that means).  I laugh when my son does inappropriate things, knowing full well he’ll probably do it again to get me to laugh. I haven’t perfected the edit button on my potty mouth. I don’t stick to a strict nap/sleep schedule (seriously reconsidering this, however). I give him french fries to shut him up from screaming at a restaurant. I turn on Sesame Street when I want some time for myself (like to take a shower or return a phone call). I lose my patience and then feel like crap about it. I don’t introduce enough new fruits and vegetables. I have a beer or glass of wine every night.  I still go to lots of sporting events, and just bring him along (see no nap/sleep schedule above).  I haven’t fully surrendered my life to all things child (just about 80% of it).

He said: It took me almost 4 years before I felt like a “dad.”  He told me sometimes he’d say something stern to regulate the girl’s behavior and then lean into the hallway and whisper to his wife: did that sound believable?

We want to raise our kids with proper habits, good interpersonal skills, boundaries, to have empathy, kindness, curiosity and to be healthy and safe. But we don’t always believe what we say when we’re telling them not to do something: No, you can’t have french fries for breakfast, stop throwing things off the balcony, don’t use your hands to eat that, put your pants back on.   All of these things sound like I’m talking to my drunk friends at 2am.

We’re supposed to tell them these things and until we mean them, we’re kinda just faking it. And then when we do mean it, we’ve suddenly become our parents: the fun killers.

It’s bound to happen.  I just wonder when.

Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes

I love the Banana Pancakes song by Jack Johnson. Its soothing and adorable and I like to pretend he’s singing it to me. Until today, it was just a song lyric as I’d never had banana pancakes.

My little guy likes bananas – in spurts.  So some weeks, he devours them and other weeks, they get brown and mushy.  I hate wasting food, so when the bananas get spotted, I turn to Pinterest to help me come up with clever ways to use them. I’ve made banana bread, banana muffins, but this morning it was too hot to turn on the oven so I decided to try banana pancakes.

The results? Oh my yum!

11144074_10153461691022290_4576496801511868870_o

The original recipe from Pinterest can be found here. But of course, I modified it. So here’s my spin:

Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes

2 Large Ripe Bananas (smashed)

1 1/2 C Whole Wheat Flour (I used Red Mill Organic Whole Wheat All Purpose Flour).

1 tbsp Baking Powder

2 tbsp Brown Sugar (Packed)

1/2 tsp Salt

1/2 tsp Cinnamon

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

1 egg

1 tbsp Vegetable Oil (use whatever oil you like cooking with)

1 Cup milk (I used Almond Milk)

Combine Flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, & cinnamon in a large mixing bowl

In a smaller bowl combine milk, egg, & vanilla. Mix well

Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, until wet, creating the batter. Stir in the mashed bananas. If you want to add chocolate chips, go for it (a 1/2 cup of mini chips is plenty). I like to sprinkle them on top instead of cook them inside – but do what you prefer!

Cook ’em up on a hot griddle, till the edges bubble and the bottom is a golden color.

Serve and enjoy the wholesome goodness of these homemade Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes!

Makes 9-12 pancakes.

* I highly recommend serving with fresh strawberries, it was so delish!

The Faceless Village

thefacelessvillage

I’m a part of a lot of mom groups on Facebook.  The Faceless Village I like to call it. Some of these groups are local moms I know in real life, others are regional/national and full of strangers, some are about weight loss and nutrition, others about buying and selling baby stuff. When I was pregnant, I was obsessed with these groups and reading all the posts and comments as a way of preparing for The Bump to arrive. Now, I use them to share information with other mommies and schedule play dates. Most of the time I don’t see the posts from the bigger groups because I am no longer interested in seeing the same five questions being asked over and over again (what’s the best stroller, how do I sleep train, when can I start solids, what kind of rash is this, how can I increase my milk supply, etc). So I turned down the notifications on my feed, in hopes of seeing them less. It sort of worked.

Last night I came across a vent from a mom. I don’t usually read the ones with the disclaimer that it’s a “vent”, but I was sitting on my couch, my son had miraculously gone to bed before 10pm and there wasn’t anything on the handful of television channels I get. So I read it. Usually the rants annoy me, and I don’t mean to take away from the women who write them or to discredit their feelings in any way, but I find little in common with the women who are frustrated that their SO doesn’t help more during night feedings, or that their MIL’s doesn’t adhere to their sleep schedule when they babysit, etc. However, the rant I read last night wasn’t about DH, or DD or DS or MILs or SO’s. It was about a single mom who was feeling so low and helpless she was turning to the Internet to vent about a very vulnerable situation. She wasn’t asking for pity or help, she just wanted to get her feelings out. I read the rant and every comment posted.

Thankfully, they were all supportive, some even helpful. It takes courage to put yourself out on the line, to open yourself up to a group of women you may or may not know, especially when there are plenty of mommy-shamers in these groups.  I felt for her. No, I felt connected to her. She was a part of the single mom club, a group with no membership cards or I.D.’s, no clubhouse or secret handshake, we don’t wear a pin on our sweater or a ring on our finger to identify one another. Rather, we exist among the sea of moms all trying to do the best for our families. However when I find one, I can’t help but feel an invisible bond.  So I posted a positive comment, included a helpful resource I knew about, and noticed she was only a 30 min drive from me so I offered up some extra diapers my son already grew out of and asked her to PM me if she was interested.  She did.

As I pulled out the half a box of size 4 diapers in the closet, I looked around for other things I could include. What would I want if I didn’t have diapers, food or money to last me the week? Well, I’d want diapers and food for my baby! So I gathered up a bag of new unopened toddler friendly items I had; diapers, wipes, goldfish, pouches, cereal, peanut butter, avocados, fig bars. I wrote a little card with words of encouragement, included a little cash for milk, and some bubbles and a puzzle for her two boys. “Every little bit helps” she wrote me, and so I will try to help a little bit.

I’m leaving in a few minutes to meet her at the park, and she will no longer be part of the Faceless Village; we will be real for one another. I will not pity her or judge her. I will not give her advice or tell her what I think. I will smile. I will tell her how adorable her boys are. I will let my son play with her sons. I will be open to listening.  I will look at her and see her for who she is: a mom doing the best she can when she’s feeling the worst.  I will hope her days get brighter and her heavy weight a little lighter.  I will hope she leaves the park knowing she is not alone.

I have never had the courage to write to one of these groups to vent or ask for help, even when I wanted to. However, I have been blessed to receive help and kindness in many forms from family, friends and other moms who must have sensed that I needed it.  For that, I will always be grateful. I am forever mindful of how I can pay it forward. I don’t have a lot, but I have enough.  If I can help two little boys I’ll probably never meet again, feel better today, I’ll know I’ll sleep better tonight when I cuddle my little boy.

It takes a Village after all, even a Faceless one on Facebook.

Real Money Stories: My Story

I was asked to be a part of a Video Series “Real Money Stories” for my friend Tonya’s blog Budget and the Beach.  She’s a personal finance blogger and video editor I met on the beach and we’ve worked some events for another mutual friend in the ‘freelance hustle’ game of life. Its always fun meeting new people, hearing their stories and learning about their journey.  So when she asked me to be a part of her series and tell my story, of course I said yes! Not that I think I know much of anything. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know jack. But I sat down with her anyhow and answered her questions (which I didn’t get prepped for), in front of a camera (eek!),  at a playground (whoops!). In that hour, I learned a little more about myself and the obstacles to filming at a playground.

I hope you enjoy the piece she put together, it can also be found on her blog Budget And The Beach here.

 

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Sometimes, I’m failing

There are days I look at my little guy and realize I have everything. Love, light, happiness, purpose, strength; all in one little bundle of amazing energy. In these moments I’m content, happy, fulfilled, and the daily worry that sits in the back of my mind disappears. I am in the moment. I am trying to be in the moment more and more, to be intentional about how I spend my energy and to keep it positive. Most days I achieve this goal, and I am very very proud of it. I truly believe happiness is a choice, and it’s almost the norm for me. Almost.

Yet, there are moments when I realize all the ways I am failing. If failing is too strong of a word, perhaps lacking is a better description. I look at the world and think about the life I want to give my son, things and experiences that are important for me to give him, that he doesn’t even know about or expect yet.  When I think about these “what if’s” I wonder how I’m going to do it. I can’t imagine there’s a parent out there that doesn’t want the world for their children, and despite the varying circumstances of health and wealth, I wonder if any of us actually achieve it all? Are we setting ourselves up for failure?

Today, I’ve overwhelmed with the thought of financially planning for his future. Not just because its so challenging to think about twenty years from now when I’m still thinking about next month. But I have to do something. Luckily, I’ve found a brilliant independent financial adviser who’s been able to create a plan and break it down for me in terms I understand and in a financial way that even I, as a single parent on a freelancer’s budget, can afford.  In this I am feeling accomplished, knowing that as soon as I start this plan, there will be a bit of relief.  But first, I have to start it. I’m hesitating on pulling the trigger. Why? I don’t know. Its probably because its got me thinking about all the other “big” plans that I have; the life I always thought I’d have, the things and experiences I always thought I’d be able to give my children. In this, I am lacking, very behind in the game, and it becomes a bit overwhelming. I know I’m a good mother, but sometimes, I’m failing.

Perhaps some of this is coming from watching the successes and accomplishments of others. I know we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to one another, but it’s hard not to. I find this especially difficult when I identify with like minded people of the same age and interests. I’m so happy for their accomplishments, yet it makes me question myself as to why I haven’t achieved these similar things as well.  I know I’m probably just beating myself up over things that I can’t change while stuck in this mindset, and to make the change I have to start from within. Instead of feeling like a failure, I should be celebrating this one small victory of making a plan, and be happy for my friends (which I truly am!).  Its not from a place of envy or jealousy that I’m coming from, but from a place of internal disappointment of the lack of achieving my own goals. I have always been a perfectionist; competitive, driven and confident. And for the most part, I’ve been successful in life. Parenting has been the biggest test to these traits and I can only hope that with determination, focus, and forgiving (myself), that I can be the best parent to my son, and achieve the goals I set for us.

On days I feel like I’m failing, I guess  I just need to get down on the ground and play some more with my bright blue eyed boy. Because really, I have a lot of good in my life and its OK to fail some days, so long as I pick myself back up, try again tomorrow.

Courage doesn't always roar

 

Smiling While Standing in Sh*t

smiling while standing in sh-t

Motherhood is messy.

Pregnancy is messy. There’s all the vomiting, constant sweating, hormones raging, bodily fluids amplified. Childbirth is extremely messy, there’s all the gushing and wooshing, lots of stuff (besides the baby) comes out, weeks of postpartum bleeding and bowel movement pain no ones really prepares you for. Breastfeeding can be messy too ( I mean I loved leaking through bra’s and shirts in public, didn’t you?). Newborns are sleeping, shitting, peeing, eating machines; you will never forget your first public blow out that makes you go running from the store/restaurant covered in a greenish liquid stench strong enough to clear a football stadium. Infants are inquisitive and messy little buggers; food, toys and anything within reach ending up on the floors, walls, and tiny creases you never knew existed. Toddlers are basically moving balls of dirt that make a lot of noise, little teething monsters who refuse naps and baths and have epic meltdowns over the wrong kind of juice. Don’t even get me started on perpetual mess that is laundry, dishes and house cleaning.

But Motherhood is also another kind of mess. One we all hush hush about, research about in our incognito browser windows, and secretly wait for another mom to talk about first so you feel you aren’t the only one. Motherhood is emotionally messy. For some, its a daily mess. For others its occasional. But it happens to ALL of us.   Some women suffer from postpartum depression and know it in the moment.  Some look back months later and realize it. Others just have bad days or hours. The degree of mess varies, but its there, lurking.

Some just burst into tears, overwhelmed with happiness/sadness/exhaustion/watching the news/watching commercials. Some lose their shit over a bath towel put away in the wrong order in the linen closet, or in my case waking up to the smell of onions being cooked in the kitchen by a guest. Others walk out the door to run to the store and contemplate never coming back. Some just go for a drive to scream in the car. There are irrational fears that take over dreams and recurring nightmares about something horrible happening.  There are real nightmares when something tragic happens to someone you know and love.  A giant list of “what ifs” start to collect and become almost unbearable.  I know I’ve spent more than one night watching my son sleep for 9-10 hours, to make sure he didn’t stop breathing, all the while my logical brain fighting with my emotional brain, fear and uncertainty keeping me awake.  There’s the near emotional break when your baby won’t stop crying or won’t go to sleep or is teething and in pain and there’s nothing you can do to take it away. Then there are surprise tears of joy when you little one says “mama” or gives you a real hug with an open mouth kiss.  There are laugh out loud moments when they give you their first “WTF” look or parrot a explicit word (usually while in a public place).  I’ve had moments when I just look at my baby boy and my heart is so full of love it feels like its going to explode.

I don’t know about you, but I never checked any boxes on the questionnaire during my well baby checks ups about my emotional state, not because I was trying to hide something, but because I figured all moms felt tired and weepy sometimes. I never thought about hurting myself or my baby, so I didn’t think it was important to talk about my constant state of fluctuating emotions. I just figure I needed to put on my big girl pants and toughen up! I’m the strongest person I know, so I figure I could just handle it all by myself. But really, I was wrong. I should have talked more about my feelings. I just didn’t want to burden my best friend who I was already leaning on a lot (seriously, who wants to get calls from a weepy friend all the time!). I’m a single mom, so I’ve never had a partner to talk to (yet, from what I’ve heard, even that is sometimes not helpful). I didn’t burden my family, because, well that’s a whole other Oprah. And looking back at those first 10 months, I realize I should have just paid someone to listen to me (honestly, I probably still should) because Motherhood is emotionally messy.  Maybe I’ll start a new MeetUp Group: Motherhood Whine & Cheese: a night to have a drink and 5 minutes to get stuff off our chests, without judgement or guilt, so we know we’re not alone (copyright!).

Motherhood gives us indescribable strength and at the same time, strips us down to our most vulnerable. It is an emotional roller coaster, that never ends. Some days its sunshine and rainbows and other days its smiling while standing in a giant pile of shit.

But its a mess I wouldn’t trade for the world.